I was going to wait until I processed some thoughts or ‘got over it’ but the truth is right now . . .
I Feel Awful
I didn’t .
My clothes are really tight.
I feel heavy.
I overate more often then not.
I am contemplating dieting again.
I don’t feel like I deserve to eat for a week.
. . . . I know I shouldn’t feel these things and that I shouldn’t beat myself up. But, I cant deny that I’m upset at myself. I thought I was SO far ahead in the game. At least enough that I would be able to handle myself and not feel like less of a person because I am carrying extra weight, or because I overate and drank or because I didn’t look great in a bathing suit.
There is more to the story of course but I didn’t want to deny what was going on right now by completely ignoring it.
I clearly have much more work to do then I thought.