Balancing Money: Final Monthly Update
Lets not beat around the bush here, I have totally flopped on the Balancing Money plan I made for myself. Its not that I totally threw the concept out the window, its that my relationship with money is different now.
When I first started this journey, I had an overwhelming fear of my first ever student loan. I never owed anyone such a large sum of money before and it scared the shit out of me. So many what if’s whirred in my brain . . .
What if I cant pay it?
What if I’m late on my bills?
What if we cant pay rent and get kicked out of the house?
What if I have to ask for help?
Well one thing did change about this fear . . . IT’S WORSE!
In case you don’t know, I plan to start my own business right out of school and this adds so much weight to my fear and a whole bunch more what ifs.
But its not been all bad lately. I’ve dug deep about this tumultuous relationship found that I was treating this whole saving plan like an obsessive diet that was all too familiar to me. I would starve and binge (save and splurge) and I wouldn’t really LIVE until I was at a certain weight (or I had enough money saved). I tied my worth to my weight (money) and so goes the cycle.
I explained in a previous post that I would only spend money on what I believe in which has made a huge difference. It has allowed me to open up a whole other journey that has allowed me to live and have fun and also stay savvy.
My fear of money is something I’m working on but in order to do that I must stop doing these monthly updates. Having to track all of this and stay accountable to these rules that I set just isn’t in line with what I feel anymore and I hope you all understand.
I still will be posting in this series because I still have a lot of tips, tricks and random musings about money that I would love to share.
In the meantime, I am eyeing up this book . . .
Anyone ever read it? Do you share my fears about money? How did you handle your first big loan?
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4 Responses to Balancing Money: Final Monthly Update
I can commiserate with the correlation between money and food. I’ve often found myself turning my spending plan into another diet of sorts! In those times I’ve needed to take the same principles that helped me get sane about food and apply them to my bank account.
That makes perfect sense!
You gotta treat the solution like intuitive spending
I hear ya on turing making saving into another diet.
I’ve been trying to only spend money on things that I can get behind, but its hard breaking the “ive had a bad day so I deserve this bottle of nail polish” habit.
You think a student load is scary? Just wait until you have two mortgages on two houses! Eeek! Luckily one has been refinanced and rented so its pretty much staying even.
My fear of not having enough money has led me to make choices that I later regret. Like choosing any employment for the better paycheck, even if it didn’t honor who I was. Having a secure income is important, but not if it ultimately wears you down physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
If you read “Its Not About The Money” would you do a review on this site? Maybe not a full review, but at least say you recommend it? I would be interested in reading it (and Geneen Roth’s book on money) if its worth it.
Lol, whenever I complain about my loan everyone always comes back with the mortgage thing.
I know its not the worst situation in the world, I just fear it hard nonetheless.
And I can do a review of the book for sure. I just need to get my hands on a non kindle version