yes, I know . . .
this time, im not apologizing. the truth is, the past few months have been such a whirlwind. id be lying if I said I didn’t have the time to update. its more like I didn’t have the emotional capacity to put into words all that has been going on in my life. every time I think im settled in something, the universe has brought a new challenge my way. some challenges were awesome and some brought me to places where ive been so uncomfortable that I had to push myself beyond where I thought I could go.
the result is that ive been able to see things a lot more clear about what I want for my life and im ready to go full speed ahead. but before we get to that, lets start with some basic updates.
I bought a car.
the moment I decided to ‘make-it’ in hawaii, I planned to stay for at least a few years, but even when took the major steps like finding a main job and signing a lease . . . I still felt like the decision was kind of floating around. that feeling was completely replaced by joyfear when I signed the paperwork for my car. I have a tangible higher cost item that is mine now which makes things a lot harder to up and leave if I needed to which in a sense was exactly what I needed. I went for nearly 4 months without one and now I cant imagine my life here without it. im not a car person. I just needed something reliable to get me where I need to go.
her name is jelly.
I worked more shows.
since my last update, I have catered concerts including morrissey, l’arc~en~ciel, jason mraz and have more in the works. the more I work, the more responsibility I get which pushes me immensely in my culinary experience as well as personal growth and friendships. even though I have to check my soul at the door, it is pretty fucking cool to do what I get to do.
Ive grown as a chef.
as you may know, I currently work as a vegan chef at a retreat home. here we take in patients that are usually healing from cancer or other illness through natural means and a very strict diet. ive been able to push the limits of my skills and truly feel confident in my passion for food and what I can help people achieve through it.
the older I get, the less I tolerate those that are not on my team in life. its not worth it and ill never get anywhere keeping people that arent a part of my journey. this has caused me to be in contact with some of the best people I have ever met. whether its friends, business contacts or even random people at random places im incredibly happy and grateful to all of the people in my life back home, and all of the new friends and family I have met out here by putting myself out there and being authentic with every.single.one.
all of this crazy stuff happened for a reason, as I believe everything does. I was forced to re-evaluate my priorites, set boundaries and be put in this space where I am ready to take a leap off of this bar. as of next week, I will officially be in the beginning phase of starting my own business in hawaii. even though I will be continuing to pay my dues working all these other jobs, I feel a strong pull from within that tells me im ready to get the wheels in motion. its time to truly take responsibility for my health as well as my career and there is no time like the present.
and, although I don’t update much and I have a new website in the works, I want to keep balancingval as a personal space for my ramblings and randomness. so . . . lucky you?
mahalo nui loa