Hi friends! I feel the need to pop in before the month is over and say something. So many changes are happening over here and sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s up or down. It’s challenging, but it also means that things are moving along in life.
We really don’t have that much time left in this state. We have even less time TOGETHER in this state so when we can, we are really trying to make the most of it and do as many hawaii-like things as we can.
We’ve invested in a mid-grade point and shoot camera so we (I) can annoyingly shoot videos of memories so we can watch them forever.
Last weekend, we decided to hike up Diamond Head crater together. The first time I hiked here was the day I met some of my very best friends on a whim when I first moved here. Over 3 years later, I went back this time with the husband for his first time.
Enjoy the short video hike!
I was obviously going through some “things” in January which resulted in a lot of unhappy days which is so unlike me. It took some time, but I figured out that the underlying reason for my rut was that not enough was challenging me in my professional life.
I’ve known this feeling all too well. What seems like the perfect situation begins to feel heavy. You’ve learned all your soul can handle and it’s time to move on to something better, something different, or both! You question yourself over and over, sometimes for agonizing months whether you should make a change. You try to suck it up because you feel bad when others don’t even have a job or wish they have what you have. The heaviness doesn’t change. It gets worse and worse until every day its hard to get out of bed and just get there to do what you have to do. You change your mindset again and again and some days are good but most leave you exhausted physically and mentally even though its something that should not make you this tired!
When things have gotten down to this, I’ve always asked myself what would make me more happy and more motivated. Having a job that made money but wasn’t right anymore? Or would I be happier “struggling”on an adventure to find and do something new? If the latter made me more happy, it was time to go, period.
Happiness Counts . . .
Because of this question alone, I’ve taken many pay cuts and have had some odd jobs for experience and change and even though money has been tight at times, I have always found myself on higher ground from where I started. It’s the reason I was gutsy enough to move to Hawaii with absolutely nothing for no real reason. It’s the reason why I trust my intuition more and more each year.
I understand if this isn’t a possible decision for many to make. I understand that with children or severe financial constraints that this wouldn’t even be a thought or that these leaps of faith would have to be a bit more calculated. I am grateful that my life thus far has been able to support these decisions and keep me moving on a path that I don’t always know where it will lead no matter how many times I’ve hit rock bottom.
And so, at the beginning of February I quit my “dream” job.
This one was really tough. I truly thought it would be the be-all-end-all of my career. I never again had to worry about where I was going or what company I would work for. I made so many connections, friends, experiences … everything you could imagine. It HAD to be it!
Putting all of your eggs in one basket and having such one-track thinking about a career in the food industry will usually set you up for disappointment. Interestingly enough, I feel relief and I feel new and honored that there is more out there for me. And its taken a while to feel this way, but I am proud enough that I have made this decision because I deserved to feel happy.
Right now, more means adjusting my life my life in Hawaii. Since my husband is gone for long periods of time, I wanted to spend my time working on something not only big, but also in a different place. I wanted to be able to travel to other cities and work and have the flexibility to come back when he is back because my marriage will always be #1. And because I asked for this and worked towards this, I have been given some excellent opportunities that will continue to not only challenge me, but also support my personal life.
Sometimes what you think is best in life will fall apart to fall together better and all that jazz . . .
I am currently on the mainland right now and learning so many new and valuable skills. I am getting back to my roots with food and enjoying new places before my career will soon blow back up into that crazy busy but rewarding work that I’ve missed so much.
Since I can’t spill the beans about my upcoming projects just yet, I can write about my health journey in the last couple months which has definitely had its share of ups and downs.
On another note, I am grateful to have this space to document my ever-changing journey. Documenting my feelings at pivotal points in my life and being able to look back at them make me feel human, vulnerable and motivated to keep going at whatever it is that may be in front of me. Thank you to anyone that reads or has followed along in any way!