Me – no, but it seems like it means outgoing, in your face . . . that kind of thing.

3 days later

Me – I figured out what audacious meant . . . the willingness to take a bold risk.

S – cool, I like that!

- – -

oddly enough, for the past year . . . I have been LIVING that word and I think its crazy how it surfaced at the perfect time. last week, I found myself defeated. I had a good time with some new friends on an amazing part of the island only to come back to myself again. yes I am in hawaii and yes I am making friends and slowly experiencing the island but I feel like I haven’t quite done what I was hoping to accomplish in my career. im looking to have an adventure in food. I want to come back saying I did something amazing that will fuel the rest of my life.

so you could understand how pissed off I was when I never heard anything back from my dream job at Down To Earth (hawaii’s version of whole foods) especially after they told me how badly they wanted to get me working there. but, as I say time and time again EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. this lead me to frantically throw out my resume on craigslist to a million different ads . . . even in town.  I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted to do something. but you all know how craigslist goes. the chances of getting a call back, especially for kitchen work are pretty slim. your better off showing up with a resume and schmoozing . . . I hate that shit.

I get a random phone call while sitting there from my first 808 number. this guy seemed normal, pretty cool actually. we start talking about food and my schooling and all of the sudden im getting quizzed on random things . . .

how do you make hollandaise sauce?

what spices would you flavor this with?

how much broccoli would you need to make 5 gallons of broccoli and cheese soup?

I answered the best I could, and I even straight up told him when I didn’t know the answer (thanks dad!). I still didn’t quite catch what this job was and he wouldn’t tell me until the very end.

sure enough, for 30 years he has run a successful catering/consulting business in hawaii. what does he cater?  oh you know just the major concerts that come in including U2, mariah carey, journey, janet jackson . . . etc.

are you fucking kidding me right now?!

we set up an interview on his boat in waikiki. suprisingly, I get there with the least nerves I have ever had for a job interview. it was almost scary how NOT nervous I was. he told me he took the craigslist ad down after talking to me on the phone. he said that so many people had mile long resumes and for whatever reason, I was the only one he called. we chatted about food and the boat and about the events. I cant even say I was interviewed  . . . it was really just kind of hanging there to see if I was someone he wanted on his team.

a few hours later I signed my paperwork and officially became independently contracted with his company. the work is very sporadic. sometimes there is a month or longer between shows. sometimes there are 2-3 events in a month. either way, it is good money and a hell of an adventure . . . which is EXACTLY what I was looking for.

even though I have so much to think about, and I still have to find part-time work to work around events . . . im in shock! shit like this doesn’t happen to me. all I can say is that im finding luck works best when you put yourself out there and TAKE CHANCES no matter how much fear is bubbling underneath.

feeling fear and doing it anyway is the reason why I wont be spending my valentines week alone and cold in jersey. ill be spending it catering for neil diamond instead . . . that sounds like love to me!

thank you all for your amazing support through all the crazy-ness of my adventure . . . especially now since it feels like just the beginning.

a lot of it probably shouldn’t be shared so publicly, but there is a huge chunk ive been working on that I will share in the form of an . . . e-book? ive decided to start jotting down all of my lessons/struggles/challenges ive dealt with on the food, health and intuitive eating front. I have a lot to say about the subject and im compiling my journey into a book that will hopefully help people.  sounds pretty out there, I know.  but right now that’s what has been calling me.

besides, I havent really heard back from the job I want.  I had an interview that went fantastic and they are impressed with my application and my schooling. it comes down to a matter of them having room for me to work there. as much as I hate awkward job conversations and call backs, I will keep fighting for it, that’s for sure.

other than that I can tell you that I am falling in love with hawaii. the more I see and the more comfortable I get . . . the more I think that setting a limit to my time here probably isnt the best thing to do. I have a lot to accomplish in so many ways . . .

so far since my last update . . .

I took an amazing tour of hickam airforce base and pearl harbor.  im sad to say that I didn’t know much about the the war and that day, but thanks to our amazing tour guide I now have lots of respect for all of it.

I also went on my second hike with my new friends.  this one was pretty tough, muddy and contained a lot of uphills.  but we did it and it was totally worth the efforts.

also totally worth the efforts . . . shrimp and rice from one of the famous trucks. so.fucking.delicious.

we headed up to the north shore which is like a different world from where I live.  its really old school island style hawaii.  lots of surfing, beautiful scenery and laid back living.  I fell in love with it up here and will hopefully be visiting again soon!

the past few days have been a mix of really productive and really not. its good considering that there is no real urgency yet to get everything done. its bad because its hard for me to relax during those unproductive times.

hopefully, ill have some good news to share with you on the job front but I still have good news overall to share.

not only did I hike up diamond head (a famous volcanic crater ) yesterday . . .

but I hiked up with some new friends!

couldn’t be more happy to have met bryttani, katy, kat and nakeia yesterday. for a group of rowdy girls, we all got along so well. I must admit that in the 6 hours we were together I cried a total of 3 times from laughing so hard. I really needed that . . .

climbing diamond head was one of the things on my hawai’I bucket list. it was an excellent workout and there were gorgeous views of the island right at the top.

I really am enjoying being active here. I tend to walk at least 4+ miles a day, not including some random jog/runs I do through the week. slowly but surely, I think im starting to adjust . . . just like everyone said I would.

*girlish squeal*

 Ingredients

1lb ground turkey (or beef)

1 can diced tomatoes (14.5 oz)

1 can rotel *

1 can black beans (drained & rinsed)

1 can red kidney beans (drained & rinsed)

2 onions, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tbsp canola oil

1/3 cup bbq sauce

Spices

I usually use a mixture of cayanne, cumin and hot sauce to taste. you can also simply use a packet of chili seasoning. remember, as the chili simmers the flavors get stronger so don’t add too much in the beginning and adjust accordingly.

* rotel is a small can of diced tomatoes that have diced jalapenos to add some heat & flavor. this is completely optional

Procedure

1.) sweat garlic and onion in oil until softened (5-7 minutes). add ground turkey and cook through.

2.) add diced tomatoes, rotel, beans & stir.  add  bbq sauce and spices to taste.

3.) simmer for at least 30-40 minutes. the longer it cooks, the better flavor. I usually simmer for a minimum of 2 hours

see?  easy!

How do you make YOUR chili?

quick story: jess and i sat across from each other on the first day of school. after catching up like jersey girls do, we immediately started talking about how we want to travel right after we graduate because we are young and because why the fuck not? throughout the year we mentioned it a few times but never thought about it seriously until the last few days of school.  i remember going outside on our break (in uniform, oops) and basically crying to each other about how no matter what we MUST take this chance and do something with it.  then, we ate a mexican feast.  anyway, the point is now i am in hawaii and my girl jess accepted a job in the cayman islands with a restaurant where she doesnt know anyone.  i am just so damn proud of her and us. and hey, that could just be my next stop on my tour de life.

i called jess pretty frantic the other day. she has lived out here before and she knows just how much of an adjustment it is to get settled . she calmed me down and told me that i must get over my bus fear or ill never be able to see this place. she told me to head to Ala Moana center which is a giant outdoor mall right on the beach. as soon as we hung up, i reasearched the shit out of my adventure like the psycho i am.

and so i bit fear in the ass, and i did it.

after an almost 2 hour bus ride i made it into town to the most beautiful mall i have ever seen. 4 floors, all outdoors-ish and so many stores both high and low end. my head was spinning. after wandering for a bit, i made it a point to lay out on the beach for a little while.

see, my skin is ‘obnoxiously white’  (thats what my friend im living with calls it). i have a lot to do to catch up to even the most ghostly people here and i want to make sure i do it slowly.  before getting outside, i walked through the food court which had a lot of normal things you see on the mainland but with more asian foods. i hit the mochi stand because there is just something about it i love.

mochi is basically sweet sticky rice (like the kind they make sushi with) that gets the shit beat out of it until it forms a smooth gummy blob. it brought me back to NGI where we made it out of brown rice and each took a turn pounding the mess. anyway, these blobs are then eaten by itself or stuffed with yummy things like ice cream. i bought a package that had one stuffed with peanut butter and one with red beans which i prefered more, actually.

i took my mochi and my sunscreen and layed on the beach for an hour. it was kind of cloudy out but i think i made some progress. all i hope is to get to a point where someone doesnt scream ‘yeah whitey’ out the window while im walking. yes, that happenend here. it was hilariously sad.

when i made my way back inside my first venture was to a starbucks. not because i wanted coffee but because i wanted some hot fresh wi-fi. i ended getting a passionberry lemonade though because im not one of those douchebags that uses free internet without buying something.

my reason for sbux is because i wanted to fully detail my bus ride home.  it was much easier to get there than it was to get home. there were many more stops and junctions in a town that resembled new york but, more tropical. so you could imagine my panic attack when this popped up on both my iphone and ipad.

i took a deep breath and decided to leave to get some food.  i went to this island burger restaurant and sat at the bar for my first drink that made me feel like i was in hawaii. it was a long island iced tea but with strawberry puree.

and because i wanted to keep the theme going, i ordered some grilled fish tacos.

finally my map started working and i meticulously planned the ride home, walked to the station and hopped on the first of two busses. i quickly realized that the NEXT bus was leaving in 3 minutes and i was about oh, 12 minutes away. kudos to me for learning the bus system during rush hour.

i got off at the stop i was originally supposed to be at and walked around frantically following my blue dot on google maps.  i must have looked special walking 4 feet in one direction and turning back 37 times. luckily the system was connected and i found that an express bus that headed straight to the giant heap of condos back home. when it was late, i panicked again and this time asked someone if i was in the right place.  she said i was and sure enough, my bus pulled up right as we finished speaking.

i got home feeling awesome/exhausted. even my friend was suprised i had the guts to head into town alone so soon. just another step in strength for me.

i did learn that i dont think i want a job in honolulu/waikiki if i live all the way over here. im sure ill be going there a lot for fun, but i couldnt imagine having to do it on a work schedule.  its just too much time, delays and aggravation.

today i plan on taking it easy. it looks like rain here so i have to time out my shopping center resume hand out trip accordingly.  or not . . . theres always tomorrow. thats hawai’i time bitches <3