Yesterday was another very RARE day. I was scheduled off from work and the roads were still on the dangerous side due to the blizzard, so I didn’t leave the house for the 2nd day in a row.
In the morning I made breakfast real quick for Chris and I.
- 2 Organic Scrambled Eggs (taste WAY better than commercial)
- Bacon Roasted Potatoes
Before he left, I got really emotional . . . I even started crying a bit. Partly because he was probably going to have to stay over night and I was scared for him driving. And partly because I was going to be alone and by myself all day.
Being alone and not being able to leave the house made me feel really uncomfortable . . . this is a feeling that I runaway from often by distracting myself with other things . . . Its happened before.
I thought about going to the bank, or going to my parents for the day . . . but then it hit me that this is EXACTLY what I have been wanting! I complain about NOT having time for myself to get things done and now I have an open opportunity without any commitments and I immediately want to squash it?
I don’t think so . . .
I called it A Simple Kind Of Life because it’s a No Doubt song, and also because this personified the feeling I want when I walk into my home. I want to have just what I need and nothing extra. I want things to be clean and I want things to be organized.
I want to start out 2011 on an extra clean slate.
So I started out in my bedroom where clutter has been building for a while. I went through little papers and random things and threw out what I wasn’t using. I also went through my closet and drawers and came up with a bag of stuff to donate.
I then made my way into the bathroom where I did a quick clean of the sink, toilet and mirror. Its not my usual deep clean, but it worked for now.
I took a break for lunch and made a salad out of the few fresh ingredients we had left in the house.
Baked Tofu (I really am starting to dislike tofu – not going to buy it again)
Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar
I then started purging old items from the refrigerator and pantry that were expiring or never going to get used. I HATE throwing away food I really have to be more conscious of what I buy at the grocery store.
I sat down on the couch a bit to watch Bethenny Getting Married? Did you know Bethenny is a graduate of my culinary school?
I started craving something sweet like crazy. I am really trying to focus on eating intuitively again so I wanted to make sure I didn’t deny myself what I really wanted. This turned into a cup of hot chocolate . . .
- 1 cup almond milk
- 2 tbsp Dutch processed unsweetened cocoa powder
- Agave drizzle
AND a bowl of Berry Cap’n Crunch
I will not feel guilty. I will not feel guilty. I will not feel guilty.
After my small sugar crash I started slowly tying up some odds and ends. I ended up with 4 packed bag of garbage!!
For the rest of the night I sat on the couch and read a real live book!
I love reading books by Geneen Roth. I always feel a sense of calm and a sense of motivation after reading so many good lessons and this book had many of them!
Contrary to how I felt in the morning, I am so glad I stuck it out and hung out with myself. I feel more simple and I got a lot accomplished which will help me stay organized and happy . . . at least for a few days
Have you ever felt uncomfortable being alone? What do you do when you finally have time for yourself?
Alrighty, it is time for installment #2 of my . If you didn’t see my first attempt at recording a full day of intuitive eating, click . I will be posting my meals and feelings throughout the day as raw as they can be. It will be an ongoing post, so if you happen to read it mid day, it will look like I just stopped. Check back later for the rest
This is a good day to do this, because today is a very unusual day. I have the day off for one thing, but I am also stranded in my apartment! My car is in the shop and I have no way out until 4pm unless my mom comes and picks me up. I’m really trying not to make that happen since there is plenty of cleaning and relaxing to do here, but I will go with the flow. It should be interesting to see how boredom or busy plays a role in what passes my lips.
Here We Go! . . . .
@6:47 I finally woke up. It was the first time I hadn’t set an alarm on a weekday and I only slept 47min later. Upon waking I am NOT hungry. I feel a fullness in the back of my throat, and my stomach feels kind of anxious. I COULD eat, but I’m sitting on the couch waiting to figure out what I really want. I’m going to make myself some coffee since I haven’t had it in over a week!! Sitting on the couch relaxing makes me crave a hot drink.
@7:47 So, I just looked in the fridge and we are out of the small container of half and half I keep just for coffee. I debated whether to put almond milk in it, but I don’t enjoy the bitterness it gives my coffee, plus that made me think of how much sugar I would have to put in it. Back to the couch to figure out what to eat, stomach is feeling empty now. Hmph.
If you don’t like it . . . Don’t eat it!
@8:42 I did the ark full of dishes while deciding what to eat. Scrambled eggs and toast came was it! As soon as I figured out what I wanted, I contemplated stopping the dishes midway and eating some sugar cookies I made last night instead. Why? I knew there was WORK involved in actually making breakfast and cookies were just so easy and right there. I didn’t act on it, but it was interesting to observe that thought. I ended up having 2 scrambled eggs, a toasted sandwich thin with butter and half a sugar cookie. I took pictures but I accidentally deleted them.
A word though . . . I dislike . . . A lot. I see them on a lot of healthy living blogs and I don’t know why? They tastes like fake sweet yeast and it’s just a smushed piece of bread! Is it the portion size that has the appeal? Because I’m sure it’s not the laundry list of chemical ingredients! I made the mistake of buying them in BULK and still have a whole package left. Never again.
I’m back on the couch thinking of all the things that could be done but I don’t actually want to do. At least just now. I’m going to try and relax and see what comes to mind.
Ill be honest, I really want that other half of sugar cookie . . . . Well at least my mind does. It’s telling me how soft it still is, and how stupid it looks by itself in the container EAT ME!!
. . . NOPE not now.
@9:30 Shop called to tell me repairs are going to be over $300. I started to panic even though I know it’s my fault for neglecting things for so long. I know it’s for the better, money is just a VERY sore issue with me right now. Chris tried to cheer me up on the phone but I told him I just needed time to be pissed off. I’m getting phantom hunger too. One of those ‘eating to bridge the gap’ hungers where I just want to eat so I have something easier to be pissed off about. I’m going to lay down instead.
@12:32 Woke up from an ~2 hour nap with news of a tornado warning! Feeling better about the car but I physically feel like garbage! I haven’t had a nap so deep and so close to waking up I’m so long. I’m hoping I really needed the rest instead of escape. Arg. Now I’m HUNGRY. There’s not much in my house and I can’t shop without a car. Consulting stomach . . .
@1:12 I finally decided to defrost the . I added a potato and cooked up some angel hair. It was apparent that I waited too long before eating because I found myself picking while waiting for the components to cook AND wishing I chose a faster option.
When I finally got to eat, I ate so damn fast that I had to remind myself to check in. I wasn’t hungry anymore but I didn’t have THAT much left. I decided to put the rest away. Previously, if I wasn’t on break from work, or if I hadn’t been doing this today, I would have eaten the rest of it no question. I’m glad I didn’t because I actually feel like at a 6 on the hunger scale, and I know that if I get hungry for it, I can just have it later.
Sometimes a good dose of hyperconsciousness is good!
Now I’m debating what I want to tackle first, bills or cleaning. Both suck . .
Royally. Oh, and I just tackled the other half of that sugar cookie.
@7:02 I was able to figure out a puzzle that is our finances and then Chris came home. I was definitely hungry at that point but I waited since the chances of us going out somewhere were very high.
We ended up going to our favorite food spot FINS. It was aloha hour so We both got the chicken Caesar wrap with a drink for $5!
They also had a pumpkin pie smoothie and I could not pass that up! I think I wanted the IDEA of it more then being hungry for it. I ate a good amount of it but passed the rest to Chris. It was pretty good, but I wouldn’t get it again. I could recreate it for a lot less money.
I didn’t overeat, but I came close. Again it was because I waited too long to eat. We went food shopping after and I was able to get ingredients for my green smoothies as well as ingredients to make some home made Lara bars.
I’m thinking I may have a beer before bed too.
Overall, I’m pretty happy how I handled today as far as eating. Doing this has made me realize how I still have to hone in and pay attention most times while eating. I also got to see how much my mind played a role in wanting foods that my body didn’t want.
I didnt get as much done today as I would have liked, but maybe I needed the rest. My poor car is in the shop over nite but I’m glad it’s finally getting the care it deserves
Hope you all had a good day!