Intuitive Eating Thought Breakdown
Last week, I gave you a peak into my life and showed you the Tuesday Morning Chef. This week, I’m taking things a bit easier as I am feeling a bit worn out. Between waitressing, birthday meals and learning the ins and outs of poultry, things got a little hectic these past few days.
This resulted in me not taking the time to plan out my weekly menu thus nothing is being cooked today. But, that didn’t mean that I was just relaxing. I did have a lot to do before school today, and the best way to tackle a morning like this is with a plan . . . 
The first thing on my list . . . breakfast. Not planning a menu, and leaving the almond butter I bought at school (damnit!) led to me not eating breakfast when I woke up. After a while I began to crave something out of the ordinary. I craved a cinnamon raisin bagel with strawberry cream cheese. I knew just where to go to get it.
I want to use this opportunity to talk about eating intuitively. I think its important for people to see the thought process in choosing foods occasionally that aren’t considered healthy and why its ok.
Here are some things I observed about my breakfast . . .
1. This food goes pretty far against the guidelines that I set for myself when it comes to eating a true foods diet. (ie. sugar, commercial dairy, processed bread).
2. I wont feel great after eating this whether its 15min or 4 hours afterwards or even longer.
3. It might set me up for more false sugar cravings.
HOWEVER . . .
1. I truly am craving this bagel and its what my body wants right now.
2. MOST of the time, I eat a good breakfast made of true foods so this really wont matter much in the big picture.
I ate the bagel slowly and truly enjoyed it without any guilt or any need for more. I had no thoughts of “blowing it” and continuing on a sugar/junk rampage. I ate NORMALLY!!
What I am trying to drive home here is that observation and mindfulness are a HUGE key in listening to your body when it comes to food. Had I not gone into that thought process I would have ate the rest of the day in auto pilot mode which could have set me up for a rough patch . . . something I havent seen in a while in my eating habits lately.
In case you were wondering, about an hour later I was STARVING and I was starving for something rich and possibly sugary. This craving went away while at work (it was false and not coming from within). And when I returned home, I was craving real food again which leads me to my lunch and dinner for today.
Lunch
1/2 avocado mashed on ezekiel bread with tomato and onion.
Dinner (packed for school)
Salad – organic free range chicken from class, peppers, tomato, onion, spicy chickpea snack, home made balsamic vinaigrette
I will admit, I am a bit more tired than usual and im sure breakfast contributed to that, but that was the consequence that was worth it to me.
How is your journey with intuitive eating going? Are you mindful when you eat things that are not considered “good/healthy”? What is your thought process?
The Pressure Is On
I would definitely agree that I am the type of person that puts a lot of pressure on herself to succeed. In a way, this is good. I’ve been able to leave a job knowing how to work every department and I have gained trust and respect and a ton of knowledge along the way.
But what happens when IM in control?
This weekend, with the help of my dad I was able to apply for my first ever student loan. Previously when I was in community college, I had help from my parents or put tuition on my credit card (so stupid). I went to college just because its what im ‘supposed’ to do. I went there not knowing what I wanted or was passionate about. So I strung along and THANKFULLY found a direction, but in nothing i truly loved.But this is the big time, this is what I want.
I have to say I was completely SHOCKED about how much it will cost me in the end to borrow the amount that I needed. I mean with interest, it’s really not to far from paying DOUBLE what I needed to borrow even with the lowest possible interest rate!
I looked at my monthly payments which work out to ~$380 per month for 8 years.
EIGHT YEARS!
I know some of you have been there done that, but I just need to express the pressure I now feel.
This means that I have to come up with that amount of money PLUS my regular expenses, PLUS possible commuting costs if I get a job in the city. I have to make sure I do something that is able to handle all of this financially.
And so. . . . I’ve decided to become a stripper instead of go to school.
. . . .kidding 
It took a lot for me to reassure myself that everything would be ok going into this a bit free spirited. I told myself that no matter what if nothing but knowledge comes from this, I will be ok where I’m at and have time to figure things out.
But, the chokehold of finance really put a damper on that.
I’m not saying that I was just going to graduate then hang out for a while and see what happened. But I really didn’t want there to be this scary elephant in the room.
I know ill be ok, but again it’s the fear of the unknown that kills me. The fear that I will be struggling. The fear that I wasn’t good enough to get a job good enough to pay my bills.
On the other hand, it might be a good thing as it is somewhat of a positive stress or motivation. I am willing to work hard and I am willing to put myself out there to follow my passion.
But jeez . . . Money Sucks! 
Thank you for listening to today’s rant.
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