The Inferior To-Do List
Lets face it, my To Do list is always packed with stuff. Most of the tasks are things that are not fun, pleasurable or relaxing. In fact, looking back in the past few months, I cant remember a time that I just had a day to let go and not worry about anything. Sure, I give myself at least 10min of self-care a day and I do feel relaxed happy when I am working on my cooking experiments but those moments are getting few and far between.
The problem is, I signed up for this. THIS is the time where things get hard and where practicing balance is so damn important. It’s a fierce reality that these things are not going away. I must accept that my “days-off” are going to be filled with catching up on things and not much fun. I refuse to give up because I know that it will all be so worth it in the end. I already feel it is!
The only things I can do to make things better for myself is to change my attitude and start working smarter. The attitude is definitely a work in progress, but working smarter is a bit easier.
I often look at my long list and get too overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that I just bury my head in the sand and don’t want to even do ONE thing. My boss says its Paralysis by Analysis. I googled that exact term and sure enough, that’s exactly it!
So, for now on, I am going to be using a more structured To-Do List that looks like this . . .
A while back, Katie posted this concept of a Roman To-Do list. The concept is genius! You split your list into 3 columns. The first one is a list of things that MUST be done that day no matter what. The second is things you SHOULD do but could get away without doing. The third is for what you HOPE to do or MAYBE can get done.
I tried this once before and it was really eye opening. Seeing all the things that had to be done and things that could wait relieved a lot of stress. And like she says, you can also use this as a way to balance out your week. For instance if you are crossing off too much from the first two columns and not from the HOPE/MAYBE column (which is usually filled with more fun activities than not) then you can SEE that you need some me time. Or, you can flip it the other way and see that you are messing around too much and not getting enough done.
The return of the Roman to do list has started back up today and already I feel much better and have much less pressure as I feel more relaxed knowing that if I don’t get certain things done, its not the end of the world!
Are you a To-Do list maven? What are your best time management tips?
The Pressure Is On
I would definitely agree that I am the type of person that puts a lot of pressure on herself to succeed. In a way, this is good. I’ve been able to leave a job knowing how to work every department and I have gained trust and respect and a ton of knowledge along the way.
But what happens when IM in control?
This weekend, with the help of my dad I was able to apply for my first ever student loan. Previously when I was in community college, I had help from my parents or put tuition on my credit card (so stupid). I went to college just because its what im ‘supposed’ to do. I went there not knowing what I wanted or was passionate about. So I strung along and THANKFULLY found a direction, but in nothing i truly loved.But this is the big time, this is what I want.
I have to say I was completely SHOCKED about how much it will cost me in the end to borrow the amount that I needed. I mean with interest, it’s really not to far from paying DOUBLE what I needed to borrow even with the lowest possible interest rate!
I looked at my monthly payments which work out to ~$380 per month for 8 years.
EIGHT YEARS!
I know some of you have been there done that, but I just need to express the pressure I now feel.
This means that I have to come up with that amount of money PLUS my regular expenses, PLUS possible commuting costs if I get a job in the city. I have to make sure I do something that is able to handle all of this financially.
And so. . . . I’ve decided to become a stripper instead of go to school.
. . . .kidding 
It took a lot for me to reassure myself that everything would be ok going into this a bit free spirited. I told myself that no matter what if nothing but knowledge comes from this, I will be ok where I’m at and have time to figure things out.
But, the chokehold of finance really put a damper on that.
I’m not saying that I was just going to graduate then hang out for a while and see what happened. But I really didn’t want there to be this scary elephant in the room.
I know ill be ok, but again it’s the fear of the unknown that kills me. The fear that I will be struggling. The fear that I wasn’t good enough to get a job good enough to pay my bills.
On the other hand, it might be a good thing as it is somewhat of a positive stress or motivation. I am willing to work hard and I am willing to put myself out there to follow my passion.
But jeez . . . Money Sucks! 
Thank you for listening to today’s rant.
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