I promise this post is not about birth control . . .
I had a bit of a late start today. I slept in until 7:17, and chugged some coffee in my new girly mug.
I felt compelled to buy this yesterday as my morning coffee is an important ritual to me and drinking it out of mugs with skulls on them just didn’t suit me.
I then went outside for a walk/jog for about 35 minutes. I really need to stay active as I seem to have lost my hip bones . . . again.
I had plans to head out to the shopping center like yesterday and hand out resumes but really all I cared about was handing in my application for Down To Earth. however, im sitting here on my laptop still not showered and thinking about the what ifs . . .
part of me is holding back doing everything all at once because lets face it, wondering around the same safe shopping center is going to get boring real quick. I also feel a bit terrified of seeing this place all on my own and im terrified to ask for help which is totally ‘old val’ thinking. this place has so much to offer and an amazing bus system to boot. so why am I being such a little bitch?
it got me thinking about my plan b here in hawaii. what if I don’t actually find a job and I am stuck here with nothing to do and a backpack full of fear?
I know deep down that I will try my hardest to find SOMETHING and if I don’t, I also know that the fear will dissapate when I think about how short of a time I actually have to live here with nothing to do but blog/business work from my laptop. this means that I will eventually get off my ass, ride the fuckin’ bus and go see the un-americanized hawaii and all its sights and food. im confident that this will happen whether I have a job or not.
of course without a job I have to be pretty savvy as my adventure will be fully funded by my small savings account. but it’s a small price to pay to do something that others never really take the chance to do in their lives. if everything was meant to happen the way it happens, then it will all work out in the end and I completely trust that.
so right now consider me in the research stage as well as find a job stage. I need to scope out what I really need to see and do and get a handle on transportation so I can make this happen.
but first, a shower . . .