im starting to have moments where I REALLY miss home. part of its because I have never ever been this far away from all ive known. and I suppose a part of it is because the weather has been a little depressing. its rainy season in hawaii and.it.sucks.
its been so amazingly beautiful here before this. so much so that I often forget that living on a tropical island has downsides. the skies will be cloudy all day and it will randomly start pouring rain, hard. not to mention the thunder and lightening. luckily oahu hasn’t been too bad considering the fact that neighboring islands have areas that have been totally washed out.
the weather has kept me indoors all day sometimes for a day or two at a time and its driving me crazy! normally, ill walk SOMEWHERE everyday, even if its just to get toilet paper or something random like that. lately there has been none of that, and its bringing up so many things to think about while im stuck here.
anyway, one of the things ive been thinking about is all the things I miss from home which include . . .
long sleeves & jackets.
nothing beats the cool, crispness of fall. it is by far my favorite season. I love wearing comfy long sleeves and light jackets and just being outdoors. although it does get in the low 60’s overnight here, the only time I wear a jacket or long sleeves is when im trying to keep warm from air conditioning. mer.
ugh, I HATE not having a car. and I miss my old friend forrester dearly. the poor thing is sitting in the parking lot at my old job just wasting away. it has quite a bit of miles on it and we have been through so much together but unfortunately, it would cost more to ship here than the car is worth *sigh* I plan to sell it to my brother which is a big step as I am committing myself to staying out here. eventually, I would love to buy a car in hawaii, but the cost of everything is just not something I can put in the cards until I can really establish myself financially.
ive joked to people that I miss trader joes more than I miss most people! seriously, being a foodie/chef is super hard without all of the crazy resources I used to have back home. yeah we have grocery stores and specialty stores, but there is nothing like the quirky-ness of the selection (and prices) from good ole’ TJ’s
one of the first things people bring up about hawaii is how expensive everything is, including the food. well, everything is imported so yeah, its expensive. the thing that kills me is that even the LOCAL foods are expensive which is bullshit. you have to be really savvy to eat well or even gluten free here but when you have no choice, it makes it easier. do you know I spent nearly $6 on my favorite drink above!? I was kind of desperate as my stomach was killing me but I normally don’t do that. thank goodness it was totally worth it.
I personally don’t think I have a good singing voice, but a lot of others do. I sing a lot . . . or at least I used to. its like a release for me. I generally like singing rock/metal songs as I have a baritone type voice, but I love singing pop songs too. because everyone has their windows open in hawaii, I am pretty embarrased to let loose and sing. the one time I did was at a gay karaoke bar in waikiki with my girls. I sung an alicia keys and bruno mars song. it.was.so.fun. and my voice was good enough to get a few drinks out of some of the flaming men. one guy told me he ovulated after I sang! *sigh* I hope to hit up another karaoke bar soon, or at least find a place I could belt without shame.
I have a pretty rad knife kit back home, and that doesn’t include the amazing kitchen knives I have also. being a chef its super important to have a good knife. luckily, I did buy a decent french knife at target when I first got here which has been good to me. but, its not the same badass feeling I got carrying my bag around. girls with knives = awesome.
I honestly don’t think ive ever spent more than 2 weeks without seeing any of my family members. the older we all get, the better our relationships get which makes it even harder. while I love being their ‘crazy daughter who up and moved to hawaii’ I still miss being around them. the constant sarcasm, the crude humor, the gut busting laughter, and the love we all have for each other that we never show. I gotta say, even at 27 I am NOT looking forward to waking up without an easter basket this year *tear*
my plan is to head back home in june for at least 2 weeks. I need to sell some things, move some things, catch up with everyone and hopefully be there to see my sister graduate high school. while id love to book a flight ASAP, I really am unsure of if I can if there are shows coming up. I also hope to have a full time job by then and just have to hope that they are ok with me taking some time off. having all of this up in the air is definitely overwhelming!
as much as I miss all these things, I really feel like something here is still calling me. ive waited so long to really ‘start’ my life and always have had excuses to why I didn’t. well, ive done all the work, found my real passion in life, made it through school, and have learned enough to the point that I realize that there is nothing to wait for anymore. I either make it or I don’t.
Ever been away from home for a long period of time? What did you miss most?